That Which Nobody Sees

This post is going to be difficult to write because this is the part of my life many do not see and do not know. We all have things that we have done or struggle with that we don’t want others seeing or knowing about. Sometimes we hide it because we do not want ourselves to have to see it either.  Here is my story and a look into a part of my life not many know about it. Iam sharing this with you because I am hoping it will encourage you!

I struggle with being open with others on how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. I’m not going to go too personal into detailbut most of my life I have just felt like my opinions or feelings don’t matter. I’ve toldmyself it isn’t true but it’s something I struggle with. I also struggle with feeling lonely and there are times when I choose to be alone and I cause my loneliness. I have learned through experience that I am not alone even when I feel like I am because God is the one who is always there even when I feel He isn’t. There was a time in my life we’re I was so distant from God and it felt as though I was the only person in the world and nobody else cared. It was a very hard time. I know you feel likeGod doesn’t care, He doesn’t see the pain, otherwise He would change it. In our troubles it’s hard to see the truth because we are so lost we don’t see it the right way. I’ve been there. I have literally cried out to God saying “if you loved me, where are you? Why can’t you just take the painaway?” No matter how many times I prayed things never changed, until one day I had prayed and after praying I turned my MP3 Player on to the Joy FM and as soon as it came on, a song had just started. It said 🎶do you wonder why you have to, feel the things that hurt you. If there’s a god who loves you, where is he now? Maybe there are things you can’t see, and all those things are happening to bring a better ending. Someday somehow you’ll see, you’ll see.🎶 After that moment my perspective was different. I had realized that God was there for me and He had been trying to give me relief I was looking for.I was crying out so desperately for a friend and God was saying “Here I am!” But I was so hurt that I wasn’t listening to Him.I was turning Him away because I was somad at Him. This is what I want to tell you. Through your pain and your situation you may be dealing with the same thing, turning away God because you’re so angry with Him. But let me tell you this...God loves you and one thing I have learned is that sometimes we go through pain and suffer because we don’t accept the healing that God brings. Now I’m not saying that if you accept Him then it will all change because surely that didn’t happen with me either. But I will tell you this; in the song it says 🎵once you feel the weight of glory, all your pain will fade to memory🎵honestly that is so true! Once I finally accepted God and allowed Him in my life I felt joy that I had never felt before. All my pain had gone away. My perspective of the situation had changed because I had hope and I had a joy. In that moment I felt as if someone had their hand on my shoulder. It felt so real but I couldn’t see anyone there physically. It was such a comforting feeling. I was so thankful to God for never giving up on me and chasing after me even after that long. Know that it is never too late for you. Even though you thinkGod doesn’t love you or care because He isn’t taking you out of the situation, doesn’t mean that He doesn’t want you. He wants to rescue you and help you through it but you have to let Him in. He isn’t gonnna just come into your life unless you say yes. Being saved is like saying I do, allowing Him to be in your life and saying “Iwill live my life for you not for me.” I know in painful times it’s hard to let God in especially when we’re mad at Him. Or even when we don’t believe He exists. But He does exist. You have a choice to make. He wants to help and heal you, will you let Him?